We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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