his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
