I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize