i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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