Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize