Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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