you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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