What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
