Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize