My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
