It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
