On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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