When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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