I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's never too late to be topless.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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