Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
