recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
