in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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