I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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