Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he quoted the bible to break up with me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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