roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
