real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
