A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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