She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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