Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
