She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
