What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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