all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
