I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Panties = found
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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