So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
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I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I love you.
Bad choice
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