no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
