help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
