He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
