he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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