My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize