My balls are so social today.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
