This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
