I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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