Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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