what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize