I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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