All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
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They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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