Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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