Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
