A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
