People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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