i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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