you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
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I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
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i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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