but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
