the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
