nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
