Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
whose parrot is this?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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