$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
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Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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