If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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