oh god the rape fog is back!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
