Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
