Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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